The hallmark of chronic anxiety is that people remain continuously fearful when they’re not in any objective danger in the moment. They get tricked into believing they have to think and respond in ways to fend off this danger, when it’s only discomfort, they’re going through. Then by continuing to battle with the anxiety by fighting with it or fleeing from it, they wind up feeling worse rather than better. The answer is to work with the anxiety and worry, not oppose them.
Catch Worry Red-handed
A typical worry thought has two parts that go like this: What if…[catastrophe]? What goes in the brackets? Anything that isn’t happening now. What if…I lose my job? What if…I have a terminal disease? What if…I don’t survive the plane flight I’m about to take? The what-if clause is a prompt to think of something bad which isn’t happening right now – but makes you feel worse. This amounts to pretending something bad – which of course you don’t want to do – so it’s a lot better to just catch what-if thoughts in the act. Here’s how you can do that: Purchase a container of breath mints and begin carrying them with you everywhere you go. Every time you catch yourself thinking or saying” what-if,” open the box and remove a mint. Then you can either consume it or just throw it away. (Consuming it is probably better; you’re getting something for your money)!
The goal of this exercise is to keep the box of mints as full as possible. This would mean you’re recognizing the what-if statement as no more than a symptom of anxiety – not an actual threat. This is a very effective disarming tactic, but for those needing more help, it’s important to explore other ways of defusing the anxiety-ridden thought. Such as…
Make A Little Limerick Out of The Worry Content
I’m going to board this jet
Even though I’ll get upset
I’ll board with a roar
Winding up on the floor
And everyone will see how I sweat
The purpose of this little limerick is to air out a worrisome thought about flying by separating from it a bit and accepting it in a playful way. In essence, you’re humoring the worry, which will help you relax a bit and take the situation more in stride.
In an episode of Seinfeld, George was having a run of very bad luck. He decided that everything he was doing must therefore be wrong, so if he just did the opposite, things would turn out right. They did!
The same is true of anxiety and worry – the more you fight or run, the more they grow and envelop you. So don’t flee, stay with it, because it will run its course; and don’t fight, because it gets bigger and stronger the deeper it digs its hooks into you. The more you notice the anxiety you’re feeling isn’t related to any real danger, the easier it will become to just dismiss it. And because it feeds off seriousness, if you decide to humor it or even laugh at it, away it goes – in search of a more willing subject.
Good luck!
Attribution Statement:
Joe Wegmann is a licensed pharmacist & clinical social worker has presented psychopharmacology seminars to over 10,000 healthcare professionals in 46 states, and maintains an active psychotherapy practice specializing in the treatment of depression and anxiety. He is the author of Psychopharmacology: Straight Talk on Mental Health Medications, published by PESI, Inc.
To learn more about Joe’s programs, visit the Programs section of this website or contribute a question for Joe to answer in a future article: joe@thepharmatherapist.com.