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Comparisons That Work

It's easy for us to become disappointed with ourselves. And although we may not share this with others, whom among us haven't, from time-to-time, compared ourselves to others -- whether it is income, looks, house size, number of cars or whatever else we deem worthy of comparison. These are worthless, pointless comparisons because there's always somebody richer and better looking, living in what looks like a palace three times the size of your place, with much fancier and more expensive [...]

2017-10-01T20:52:10+00:00
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The Learning Curve: Don’t Give Short-shrift To Step II

Step I: Learning how to do it. This step involves the basic mechanics of studying and then acquiring the necessary tools, equipment and technology for whatever it is you want to learn for the first time. In this phase, you’re gaining insight, starting to understand how it works and beginning to develop the technique you need to get good at it. Step II: This is where you turn it into something you do habitually. Committing to regular practice, honing technique [...]

2017-09-11T21:47:37+00:00
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Why Am I Wrong?

If you find yourself sharing your thoughts and ideas about something important to you with someone you trust, and you’re also revealing how you intend to handle the situation, finish up with this question: Why am I wrong? It’s win-win for you. If your confidant thinks you’re wrong, they’ll tell you and hopefully set you straight; if they think you’re right, you’ll feel validated enough to go forward with your approach. Asking this question does require subordinating your ego -- [...]

2017-09-05T16:10:06+00:00
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Awareness vs. Action

It’s not that we are unaware and don’t know about it, it’s that we don’t act on it. Awareness and action -- two different things. We don’t act because we don’t know it’s a sure bet. But there’s no such thing as a sure bet. And the good things so often occur when we pull the trigger in spite of our trepidation about not knowing how it’s going to go.

2017-09-05T16:04:05+00:00
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Beating Ourselves Up

We all do it, to some extent. Sometimes it’s just reflexive in response to something that’s gone wrong we feel responsible for and it passes; sometimes it’s protracted punishment because we conclude that leaving ourselves bruised and battered are our just deserts. Doing this not only hurts our head, knuckles and any other vulnerable body parts, it also serves as a worthless distraction from the task at hand. Mostly, it stops forward motion in its tracks. Probably better to learn [...]

2017-09-04T15:49:05+00:00
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It Costs You Nothing

When someone allows you to change lanes in a traffic jam, holds a door open for you when you’re juggling grocery bags or just merely notices you on the sidewalk, smiling and offering a nod or a wave costs you nothing and can turn out to be meaningful. Here’s how: A connection is made – even when you don’t know the person or never see him or her again. Rewarding the act of kindness even in such a small way, [...]

2019-08-26T01:41:10+00:00
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The Stark Truth

Here’s something that happens to all of at one time or another: We come to realize that we’ve been intent on changing something about our lives for quite a while, but haven’t yet acted on it. How long have we vowed to start an exercise program, shore up a key relationship or better deal with our fears, guilt, or any number of issues? We’re aware, think about it and its importance, yet we have to constantly remind ourselves to get [...]

2017-08-24T16:43:09+00:00
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Artificial Friendships

A friend on social media is not like the real-life person sitting or standing next to us whom we hold dear or otherwise important. True connections aren’t made at a distance. As I walk past the floor-to-ceiling windows of restaurants and coffee shops, I see people perusing their phone instead of interacting with the person across from them. Because the phone is easy to become intimate with as it doesn’t take any real work. It is gratification on demand spiked [...]

2017-08-23T19:13:18+00:00
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That No Good, Two-Timing Z%$@#!!!

You’ve been double-crossed, conned and deceived by this jerk, and you’re thinking he deserves a full-throated thrashing, chock-full of biting comments together with a full dose of your enmity. Doing so is justifiable because you’ll feel better having evened the score, playing the retaliator role. But, how do you really benefit from toting around this satchel full of ill-feeling? All of the time we expend avenging the wrongdoing is time (and energy) devoted to someone unworthy of it and who [...]

2017-08-02T20:22:06+00:00
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Denial

For sure, it’s one of the oldest and often practiced ego defense mechanisms. Denial is synonymous with refusal – that is, refusal to square our beliefs with truths we won’t accept. “He was so lucky to get that job, I’d be a far better choice.” (But he got it, didn’t he?) “She only won because of low voter turnout.” (But she won, and how do we control voter turnout anyway?) Denial is about more than just refusal though, it’s also [...]

2018-09-30T15:37:41+00:00
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