Decision-making… daunting, to say the least for many, if not most of us. The thing is, we often have an answer or a solution, but we vacillate because we just might be missing something – and that something is the optimal choice for solving a problem, improving a relationship or launching a new initiative, for example. Approaching decision-making in this way is essentially an offshoot of perfection, so we stall, lying in wait for some sort of revelation or maybe [...]
Really, is there any other option for carving out a path to success?
Remember how learning to ride a bike? If you’re anything like me you learned by doing it wrong, falling off repeatedly, getting up, getting back on and doing it again… and again… and again. Actually, this approach works for lots of things. We learn best by doing something wrong the first time, then a little less wrong the next time and so forth, until we then get it right. Taking the next wrong step – not consciously, or in an [...]
If you’re in a relationship – personal, professional, social – where someone continually promises to change something about themselves or their lives and doesn’t, or is telling you that in order for them to change, you have to change, run away at your top speed – and by all means, promise yourself not to look back.
These are best described as either imagined or arbitrarily elevated to a position far loftier than they deserve. We all have problems before us that deserve high levels of concern and should be viewed through a lens of urgency. But instead of doing this, we opt rather to tackle the low hanging fruit, such as reorganizing photo albums or polishing silverware that won’t be used until Thanksgiving – as a way to distract ourselves from what really deserves our immediate [...]
The day or time that we really become professionals is when we take our work seriously but not personally. Being serious about our work is far easier than shedding the personal part of what comes with it. By personal, I mean the inevitable slings, arrows, criticisms, failures and miscalculations that come with the territory. When someone rejects us or a project goes south, valuable lessons are learned when it comes to changing tactics and direction that will serve us better [...]
... is not, and never will be a viable problem solving strategy, because problems can be nuanced and sometimes are not so straightforward. And such a strategy draws a line in the sand – creating an indolent way to deal with an issue we don’t care about enough to really understand. Most of all, an either with me or against me approach can give rise to wrath on both sides of the problem, making battle imminent. There’s gotta be a [...]
Talk of New Year's Resolutions has evolved to the point where it's no more than fodder for all types of media to keep us cognizant of our flaws, make us eager to launch a campaign of improvements and assume responsibility for positive change. The morning shows like Today, are the best at taking the lead on this, as they're able to attract the early riser eager beavers who can't wait to sweat off a few pounds, begin the task of [...]
Someday. That’s pretty open-ended when it comes to getting started on something or setting goals that people claim they want to reach. Someday, why not now? This is the question I usually ask of clients who have all sorts of explanations and rationalizations for why they can’t act now, but can’t tell me when the time is right. They can’t confront their relationship issues; can’t begin a health regimen; can’t embark upon taking up that hobby they’ve so often dreamed [...]
I rarely work with a client who isn’t feeling guilty about something and I routinely hear the voice of guilt coming from the mouths of friends, colleagues and family members. So what are the origins of guilt? We’re certainly not born with it as we all enter the world powerless in need of the care of others, and have done nothing wrong. We’re simply innocent at this stage. As we age and experience the world though, we gain insight about [...]
