People who use online dating sites to find a potential mate are engaging in “sizzle” at first. They juice up their self-descriptions so as to present themselves as alluring, intriguing and of course, interesting. And why not, it all starts with the art of seduction. Sizzle fades though, and the interested parties then become focused on substance – that is, does the person have the potential to become a partner. And to gauge potential, they’ve got to meet.

The best predictor of relationship success is found in how you treat other people. This sounds obvious, but some people are oblivious to how they project themselves to others. If you behave as though you’re relaxed, confident and open-hearted, you will attract people who appreciate and share these qualities. On the other hand, behaving like a boor will likely result in your being summarily dismissed or flat out ignored by others. No matter the context, consciously tuning in to our words and actions is mandatory if a relationship is to develop.

Relationships are a lot like a poker game. Nobody goes all in at first. Place your bets carefully at first and let time be your ally; then up the ante by giving more and more to the relationship when you find a keeper.