This happens in a couple of ways. First, we avoid being clear and definitive about what the mission actually is by steering away from the specifics of what we want to accomplish. If we don't know what the mission actually is, it's easier to tolerate failure if we don't succeed. Second, we devalue the urgency of acting on the mission by becoming distracted, turning to anything to avoid saying "I did this." It's less exhausting to just get down to [...]
There was supposed to be a singer at your milestone birthday party, but he didn't show up. That's a downer. But... all of your invited friends showed up, it's a gorgeous evening, the caterer didn't miss a beat and the cake and ice cream look delectable. So, how long should you bemoan the singer's absence? How much longer should you not enjoy your party because this happened? Will bathing in it make a difference? What we've got here is a [...]
All of us, at one time or another encounter obstacles that we can't seem to circumvent, outmaneuver or just smash our way through. Whether these are business-related, relationship-oriented or figuring out how to stay in shape, if we haven't moved around them within a reasonable time-frame, chances are we're not going to do so. This is not the time to unleash our ego and pride by battering our heads against the obstacle. Instead, it's time to identify a learned other [...]
So we're about 3 weeks removed from the pap that the media serves up without fail as the calendar turns to January. And it's always the same -- losing weight, getting better organized, exercising more. It's not only very tired and quite boring, but it's presented as if it is some kind of breakthrough information beyond our power to figure out without "expert" help. Of course, it's not. Because... We already know what we need to do. We may be in denial [...]
Conflating authenticity with "I've gotta be me" may not be such a good idea, because being authentic doesn't mean doing what we feel like doing when we feel like doing it. We're authentic when we're consistent, when we behave the same way whether there are cameras in the hallway or not, when our actions intersect with the promises we've made. Being authentic is being a pro, even when that little voice in our head is whispering it is okay to [...]
It's "them." They're irritating, they speak out of turn, interrupt, throw temper tantrums, are prone to prejudice, impulsive and are incapable of seeing the big picture. The thing is... we're "them" too.
One could argue that worry is essentially amped-up concern about something, but either one can turn into a circular exercise in futility, whereby distinguishing what is a problem from what might be a problem is the real problem. Worry and concern are useful though when they become agents for change. Otherwise, they’re just entertaining distractions, keeping us from what’s important – doing real work and living to the fullest.
I’ve been a mental health speaker for over 20 years and have published several books. Many people seem to like and approve of what I do, the way I present the material and love the products as accompaniments. There are those, however, who dislike my talks, express disdain for the products and abhor my presentation style, gestures, attempts at humor and even clothing. They post poor reviews and are bent on setting me straight in the comments section of the [...]
Whatever your mission or goal, preparation is an essential ingredient to success, for sure. But if you find yourself entangled in a cycle of continuing to “prepare to prepare,” thinking that there’s one more thing that has to be in place before beginning, you’re just plain stuck – because there will be “one more thing” and then another and another. Believing that every iota of detail must be in place to ensure a successful outcome is a surefire way to [...]
When we encounter someone who frequently goes negative on us regarding a new rule, a change of some kind, a proposal or a certain situation, we often default to figuring out what we can do to make them happy – or at least appease them. So we start contemplating what kind of compromise we can strike, or how to better appreciate their objections and respond in a way to gain their favor. It may be though, that being oppositional is [...]
