One could argue that worry is essentially amped-up concern about something, but either one can turn into a circular exercise in futility, whereby distinguishing what is a problem from what might be a problem is the real problem. Worry and concern are useful though when they become agents for change. Otherwise, they’re just entertaining distractions, keeping us from what’s important – doing real work and living to the fullest.
Worry happens when we focus too much on outcomes instead of process when it comes to doing or accomplishing something. It can emanate from general pessimism, a lack of confidence, past failures that were never resolved or concern with things outside of our control. To clear your deck of worry, do the following: Get a stack of post-it notes. Grab a note and write this: “I am absolutely exaggerating the number of monsters under my bed and the extent to [...]
These are best described as either imagined or arbitrarily elevated to a position far loftier than they deserve. We all have problems before us that deserve high levels of concern and should be viewed through a lens of urgency. But instead of doing this, we opt rather to tackle the low hanging fruit, such as reorganizing photo albums or polishing silverware that won’t be used until Thanksgiving – as a way to distract ourselves from what really deserves our immediate [...]
Resolving fear doesn’t have to be a convoluted process, and the gravity of the fear in terms of the adverse effect it is having on you requires the same steps if it is to be resolved successfully. Employ these 3 steps consistently, and you’ll be able to put practically any fear behind you: Identify a fear and write it out on a post-it note. Let’s say you fear delivering an upcoming speech or talk to a group of peers. [...]
..do a lot of threat assessing. Instruct them that when they’re anxious, it means their brain has them thinking and believing they are in danger, when they’re really not; so work toward getting them to acknowledge their overreactions to perceived threats. In this way, they’ll learn to evaluate how significant or insignificant a specific threat really is when they encounter anxious moments.
Q. I am seeing a 40 year man with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Also describes self as an introvert. He is in the Technology field and in a leadership role which he does not like. There are many issues to be addressed, but was wanting to know your thoughts on any medications like Buspar that could help. He did try Lexapro several years ago, but did not like so discontinued. I have referred him to a psychiatrist. Are there better anti-depressant meds [...]
Last week a client of mine presented to our session together with this issue: Two days prior to our weekly Thursday meetings, he was out walking his dog in the park directly across the street from his residence. Along the way, the dog “did his business,” and while in the process of scooping up the excrement, this man’s hand made contact with the ground and he immediately felt a prick on his right index finger. He searched in earnest for [...]
If you’re either gripped by fear or wish to avoid having to face it, here’s what to do: Encase yourself in your own version of a protective bubble of some sort; that is, isolate yourself. Then tightly control who or what you allow into this world. Take absolutely no risks, even reasonable ones. Play it as safe as you possibly can. Guard against setting any goal that may be a harbinger of failure. This will protect you from disappointment and [...]
We are all a bit anxious from time to time. The mere stresses of everyday life present with situations that we find perplexing and worrisome, igniting the classic fight-or-flight phenomenon. This is consistent with living life on its terms and not ours, that is, none of us really knows what’s in store for us on any given day. We can organize ourselves physically and emotionally; we can record a to-do agenda in our physical calendar; we can anticipate potential roadblocks, [...]
The ballots have been tabulated, and the leading cause of ongoing stress is... uncertainty, AND the belief that you have no control over it regardless of the circumstances. In this scenario, everyday life is like spinning the wheel at a gaming table - you're at the mercy of where the ball lands, and have no influence over the process. Yes, you may win from time to time, but the odds are that if you keep playing, you're eventually going to [...]
