Most of us are conditioned to believe that our doctor or prescriber has our best interest in mind, and in the vast majority of instances this is true. But it’s also true that some relationships – regardless of context – reach an impasse where consideration needs to be given to moving on – not finding fault.
I’ve received hundreds of e-mails from folks who report what they believe to be a communications breakdown between themselves and their doctor. Another complaint I often receive is that treatment not only isn’t yielding results but is contributing to the problem or situation actually getting worse. So if this is happening to you or one of your clients, here are some tips for when, metaphorically speaking, it might be time to pick up the bat and ball and head to another playing field:
- Appointment times are routinely ignored and the doctor is regularly running late. Whether it’s the doctor going overtime with a patient, scheduling problems or an office in chaos, waiting in excess of 20-30 minutes beyond the scheduled appointment time is annoying and a sign that something is amiss. Sure, emergencies arise and stuff happens, but such situations should be the exception, not the rule.
- Basic questions pursuant to appropriate care are brushed off. Questions such as: What do you think is wrong with me?, What might be causing this?, or What else could it be? deserve cogent answers at some point in treatment. If not, it’s like sailing on a rudderless ship with no destination or direction in sight.
- The doctor is distracted, disengaged or is staring at a computer screen during a session. Any patient should have their doctor’s full attention during a visit. This is as basic as it gets. I’m hearing more and more from people that technology is interfering with their appointments.
- One medication after another is being prescribed to no avail and no other treatment direction is being discussed. This perplexes and even angers patients when said strategy is not getting results, no clear rationale is offered and alternative modes of treatment aren’t addressed. As a patient of mine commented last week, “I don’t trust him anymore.”
- When respectfully challenged, the response is curt, intended to show “who’s the boss” or the patient is just ignored. It’s hard to maintain respect for anyone who does this, but when it comes from a professional that we typically hold in high esteem and from whom we don’t expect such behavior, it’s best to put the relationship in the rear view mirror.
The association that patients have with their doctors is typically a treasured one. But when trust erodes and respect is lost, it’s not as much about who’s at fault as it is about seeking out greener pastures.
