The first step in any infection process is to colonize the host.
This process runs a similar course in those infected by a seemingly never ending litany of self-directed negative barrages. Like bacteria and all viruses, self-criticism is ever in search of a victim. And the thing is there’s no amount of external validation from others, awards won or accolades proclaimed that have the power to cure or arrest negative self-talk. And boy, does self-loathing just love corroboration! Corroboration is not at all hard to find – particularly when one searches for it by literally scanning the world to confirm that their self-limiting beliefs are true – also known as the “see, I told you so” phenomenon. And the worst part of doing this is that the people engaged in it will dilute themselves and their work to best ensure that there won’t be any criticism from the outside world. But that’s an impossible mission, because naysayers love nothing more than to take someone down who doesn’t validate their views.
There are no antibiotics for self-criticism, no pills to make it all better, and vacuous proclamations like “be your own best friend” or “it’s the dawn of a new day” don’t work either, because such utterances are way too obvious, too general and aren’t tethered to changing specific behaviors.
The remedy for the disease of self-criticism is to bludgeon it into oblivion, subdue it and drown it in a sea of endless, positive self-talk. Launch into a barrage of honest, truthful positivity. “I have talent, I’m going to put it on display and watch it grow, instead of merely protecting myself.” ‘I possess tremendous value which can help others both personally and professionally.”
Do justice to these words by doing the work it takes to demonstrate their validity, and self-criticism will be thwarted and shooed away to seek another host.
