I meet people all the time who seem to be stewing about issues in their lives. They’ll reel off a series of complaints or worries about this and that, seemingly lost in a sea of words that are going nowhere — certainly not in a solution-focused direction. I’ll ask them “are you seeking any guidance or getting any help with this”? Most often the response is “oh no, that wouldn’t help, and people would think I’m weak or unable to solve my own problems.”
Growth, regardless of the context, requires that we show our vulnerability. So it’s important to tell people when we’ve hit a roadblock, have experienced a setback or outright failed and ask them for help when we’re not sure how to proceed. Trying to protect and defend ourselves by never seeking critique from those we respect is a quintessential example of choosing to stay stuck. We won’t grow and our self-esteem will suffer.
I participate in a couple of online forums. Those who share how they’ve erred or gone off track have a much greater impact on me than those who exclusively speak of what they’ve done right. I’m moved when I hear “here’s what I overlooked, don’t you miss doing this,” as opposed to “here’s what I do, do the same to be successful.”
Showing off our vulnerability is a display of strength and a sign of healthy self-esteem because it takes courage to admit what we don’t know.
