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The Infectious Nature of Self-Criticism

The first step in any infection process is to colonize the host. This process runs a similar course in those infected by a seemingly never ending litany of self-directed negative barrages. Like bacteria and all viruses, self-criticism is ever in search of a victim. And the thing is there’s no amount of external validation from others, awards won or accolades proclaimed that have the power to cure or arrest negative self-talk. And boy, does self-loathing just love corroboration! Corroboration is [...]

2015-03-30T15:57:45+00:00
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Some People Don’t Want To Be Helped

There are essentially two types of help that we're able to offer people -- unsolicited and solicited. Offering unsolicited help often falls on deaf ears because, by definition, it was unwanted in the first place; thus it's often eschewed by those receiving it. And it only benefits those offering the help -- some of whom are bent on insinuating themselves into the lives of others. Then there's solicited help. That is, help people ask you for -- whether it be [...]

2015-03-01T19:04:47+00:00
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How About Some Botox for Depression

Botox, botulinum toxin A, has certainly been on a run in recent years – spreading its wings way beyond its use as an anti-aging treatment. Known primarily for the ability to reduce the appearance of some facial wrinkles, Botox injections are also used to treat such problems as repetitive neck spasms, excessive sweating and overactive bladder. Botox injections may also help prevent chronic migraines in some people. […]

2015-02-12T13:53:37+00:00
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In 2015, I Resolve to Improve Myself…Or Maybe Not

Resolutions which are set to begin in the month of January are popular because people just love the idea of starting anew with something by wiping the slate clean, so to speak. Here's why most of them fail: First, there are usually NO consequences whatsoever for not doing right by what is going to be different. Second, resolutions are often made during a typically joyous time of year when it's easy to idealize the future, thereby relegating these promises to [...]

2015-02-01T22:56:10+00:00
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Shedding the Fear

If you’re either gripped by fear or wish to avoid having to face it, here’s what to do: Encase yourself in your own version of a protective bubble of some sort; that is, isolate yourself. Then tightly control who or what you allow into this world. Take absolutely no risks, even reasonable ones. Play it as safe as you possibly can. Guard against setting any goal that may be a harbinger of failure. This will protect you from disappointment and [...]

2015-01-02T18:13:22+00:00
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Please Like Me

Every year I speak at a conference that allocates one block of time to an aspiring speaker. This year when I sat in, Jim was well prepared, enthusiastic and worked the audience to a fault. He made himself available at break time and took every question asked of him, thus his program ran over 15 minutes, cutting into the next speaker’s time. Jim received polite applause at the end. The conference organizer greeted Jim backstage and thanked him for presenting. [...]

2014-12-15T20:37:12+00:00
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More is Not More

I’m no “Mr. Fix It” by any stretch of the imagination, so last week when I found my toilet running excessively long, I placed a call to my plumber. He came out on the scheduled day and time and immediately went about the business of assessing the situation at hand. He told me it was an easy fix, that he had all of the necessary replacement parts in his truck and that he would be done and gone in 30 [...]

2019-08-26T01:44:35+00:00
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Reframing

In the first week of November, a woman called my office to make an appointment. There was nothing extraordinary about the call, we set a day and a time and that was that. She showed up for the appointment on time and we began the process of getting acquainted. After helping her get comfortable in the office environment, a couple of ice breakers and some rapport building, I asked what brought her to seek my services. She described her presenting [...]

2014-11-30T18:02:38+00:00
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